Home For the Holidays

There's something new about being home after college. For me, at least, coming home every year, I felt more and more distanced from my hometown. My favorite places stayed the same, but I didn't.

It's taken me a few years to get used to that. To get used to the feeling of running into some people from high school. That weird feeling can quickly become fear.

We can quickly resort back to our 16/17-year-old selves, who are awkward or nervous. It's so easy to slip back into what's the norm. Not what is comfortable or who life has helped us become but what is expected.

Now, on my fifth holiday season home, I can confidently say that no one is forcing me back to the girl I was in high school. She was definitely shyer and particularly nervous about seeing people post-graduation. Feeling the need to prove to someone, anyone really, that she was happy with her choice of school. But now, I can assure you (and myself) that no one cares. But it can be so easy to sink back into that mindset, where we judge ourselves before anyone else has the chance or energy to do so.

I don't know who said we must dread change or going home as a new person. Home is home. What made me happy to be in San Diego as a 14-year-old girl, pre-Boulder, can still make me happy now. There's no reason why I should be nervous about being home. It's ok to change and grow with it. We have nothing to prove to anyone, much less people from high school. If there's anyone to impress after any amount of time away from home, it should only be ourselves.

We're entitled to enjoy where we grew up. For better or worse, it's made us who we are. We should be proud of that.